Saturday, February 14, 2015

Embracing Valentine's Day While Single

It's ok to be single on Valentine's Day. I made a rule years ago that it's not ok to sit around crying or feeling sorry for myself on Valentine's Day. (If you've had a recent breakup, then that's different!)

I'm single by choice - I choose to keep dating a guy who lives in a different town and who is, despite being a perfect gentleman, also not very admittedly interested in providing romantic Valentine's Day gestures. I'm single by choice - I could be out there on or take the phone numbers offered to me by men I occasionally get hit on by at bars, but I prefer not to go this route. I'm so glad that I'm healthy and confident enough to not need a man just for the sake of having a man in my life. I'd rather be single than be in an unhappy relationship.

So I don't allow myself to whine, say bad things about men, or ruminate over ex-boyfriends pictures on Valentine's Day. (I might whip out a "hottest boyfriend ever" entry if other tipsy friends share their pics too though. This is a celebratory activity, not bitter or regretful!)

I've definitely had years where I was depressed or angry at men or at exes on Valentine's Day. Or disgusted with the commercialization of it. I'm glad those years are past - the holiday is so much more fun nowadays now that I have taken ahold of myself and determined to have a fun time.

We lit festive red candles and a gas fireplace last night for our cocktail-swilling, appetizer-eating, dog-cuddling, movie-watching slumber party!

Around these parts, here's how my single girl friends and I (an ever evolving set, as people I know fall in and out of love, get together and break up, marry or divorce) handle Valentine's Day:

  • We buy each other flowers (especially red roses!)
  • We accept with gratitude any sympathy flowers our relatives send to us. (A kind aunt has sent me a bouquet for years) and proudly display them in beautiful vases.
  • We buy each other chocolates.
  • We stock up on liquor.
  • We enjoy our drinks, but try to stay giggly and tipsy, not get drunk enough to get teary or sloppy!
  • Some of us non-smokers sneak a cigarette or two, then give up the nasty habit for another year.
  • We get together for slumber parties (so nobody is alone overnight or driving after drinking) and watch light romantic comedies - nothing maudlin, nothing with an unhappy ending.
  • We refuse to dwell on past breakups, say anything negative about men, or pine away for a new relationship.
  • We celebrate the moment; we celebrate each other; we celebrate ourselves.
  • We eat chocolate because it's tasty, not because we're depressed!
  • We try to maintain a good and happy attitude about the present and future. Enthusiasm is contagious (as is depression).

Our brunch beverage - tangerine juice cocktail featuring peach vodka

Today I took extra time to cook myself a special breakfast; treated the cat and dogs to a rare amount of pet treats; and poured a tangerine vodka "mimosa" into a special antique peacock martini glass (not just pouring it into any old cheap $2 wine glass I had laying around).

I'll spend tonight re-watching an early Downton Abbey season, doing my nails, cuddling pets, and looking forward to the fun upcoming weekend with a Valentines-shy gentleman.

What do you single ladies do to celebrate Valentine's Day, or do you struggle with maintaining any enthusiasm for it? Comments welcomed!

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